Holding A Hand

Reading The Boys Next Door is an incredible opportunity to let the text transform my mind.

This play has introduced me to a more realistic life style of people who are in fact handicapped. I always assumed that people with disabilities often were helpless. I gave pity and sympathy. These are pretty apathetic emotions. I mean sure you can feel sorry for someone, but honestly – what’s the point? Save your emotion and “care” and actually show what you mean. If I thought: “Wow. That sucks that someone is born like that” but never actually act upon my upset emotions it’s meaningless and fake. Why should you feel sorry for someone? The only answer I can come up with is because we know that something is wrong, but we are too self-centered to actually act upon it. Feeling sorry only makes us feel good; like we actually did something about it when all we are doing is being in denial.

So after reading the play, I had to think about what I viewed. Saying all these harsh things, I feel like I only got these thoughts after I decided to stop hiding underneath my security blanket.

Getting the opportunity to go see and interact with disabled people made the play more life altering. In the book, you see characters and read in your head what they say and do. In class we got to act out how we thought they would be. On our trip, we witnessed reality and what a precious thing it was.

I learned that mentally handicapped people learn and they work and they can sew and they can have hard times just like anyone else.

I sat across a lady who was eating chocolate and vanilla cookies and barely touching her Coke. She and I had the same conversation about 7 times and each time she opened up more and more of herself to me. She went home last night with a terrible headache. She wanted to cry but couldn’t. She then took pills that took some of the headache away. Today she didn’t want to be there. Today she was having a poor day. Today she wanted someone just to hold her hand.

I feel like maybe if we gave a little bit of our time out to those we feel we already know, we can change ourselves for the better. Instead of assuming that we are the lucky ones and those who are handicapped are the unfortunate really is insulting. Pity and sympathy are really slaps in the face to those who try their very best to live life.

Instead of feeling sorry, we should be encouraging.

Instead of shaking our heads, maybe we should just reach out our hands one at a time.